Well, Friend

Today I want share what's been on my heart about trusting in God for outcomes vs. trusting in God. Today the Western church tends to teach both states of mind as "faith," but I would like to share my brief story about what God taught me about the vital distinctions. It made a huge difference in my faith life and I pray it can help you in yours!

"I'm trusting God for..."

I used to trust in God for the outcomes that I wanted, thinking this was what faith looked like. I thought that if I believed strongly enough, lived blamelessly and prayed without ceasing, what I needed God to do for me would happen. For me this mind-set looked like:

• Interpreting coincidences as signs from God.
• Reading verses in the Bible out of context (especially Old Testament passages) and applying them to my situation.
• "Preparing my fields for rain" when it was rain that I was praying for, in order to demonstrate my faith. (This is a metaphor from a well-known Christian film).
• Listening to prophetic claims about the future.

In spite of me doing everything right, God did not rescue me and I had to live through my worst nightmares. God never rewarded my faith with the outcomes I knew I needed. Instead he gave me something much better for both the Kingdom of God and myself; through suffering catastrophic losses, faith devastation and spiritual neediness, God blessed me with a new understanding of Himself, his faithfulness and his comfort. It was so priceless that I am thankful that I walked through what I did and would not go back and change anything. No, not even the devastating loss of my three precious boys, whom I miss every day.

The funny thing is I thought I had known him well all the years before, but if I had, I never would have been so fearful of the future.

Having a forced belief in outcomes is actually fear masquerading as faith. When we refuse to face the possibilities of catastrophe because we don't think we can survive that reality, the New Age/ Christian syncretism (theology fusion) of Law of Attraction ("Believe and it will happen") comes to the rescue. Signs give us a dash of false hope that feel good but never fully convince. Verses taken out of context are underlined three times and prayed over in forceful faith! We act this way because being honest and admitting we don't know the future acknowledges the possibility of our greatest nightmares coming true, which brings crippling panic.

Looking back, when I examine myself during the times I practiced these things, I find an overflow of fear driving all of my prayers, actions and thoughts. To trust God, no matter what outcome He decides, you have to have experienced Him as a deeply personal part of your suffering story. God is love, and perfect love drives out fear.(1 John 4:18)

I experienced God's love and faithfulness deep in the mine shafts of the shadow of death, where the good Shepherd comforted me with his rod and his staff. (Psalm 23, 139:7-12). I survived and healed because of his unwavering faithfulness in spite of my devastating doubt. I saw Him redeem my worst nightmares into spiritual blessing that transformed my life, perspectives and faith. Now I am confident that with God I can spiritually and mentally survive pretty much anything he has in store for me. Factoring God's grace into the equation frees me from a lot of "future fear" that is based on the limitations I have when I'm alone.

Today the version of faith I hold fast to relies on my limited but sufficient-for-now understanding of the grace of God.

I no longer trust in my own understanding of what I need or desperately want. I trust God knows what is best for his kingdom and for me as a servant within it. Jesus' prayer encapsulates trust in God:

"Your will be done." That is full trust in God.

Of course, I still have my moments of stress. The last several months, I have been in a waiting season of life that have forced me to really practice what I preach. (That's the key word; practice!) I have no ultimate control of my outcomes. I never did, but the difference is now I know it! My refusal to call idealism "faith" may be confusing to some, but my experience with God in realism has freed me from the need to be idealistic. I know whatever happens in the future, God is loving and good even to those who are crucified. I can trust Him. Period.

Segway...Ministry Expectations

Because of the season I am in, you may have noticed my emails and music production has slowed down temporarily. However, I do have some projects I am working on and am planning on giving you in 2026!

• The Solid Rock Celtic hymn arrangement and music
• "Day by Day" intermediate piano arrangement (along with a beautiful letter from my husband I found the other day that ties in well with this song).
• A five-day Bible study "Blessing Beyond Children" for couples facing infertility, grief and guilt. This study explores what the early church fathers and New Covenant teach about having children that is actually the opposite of what most western churches teach today. These Biblical teachings have freed me from so much guilt! I am excited to share them with you!
• Biweekly/monthly emails with devotional thoughts God has taught me through his Word. Most are centered around finding joy in our valleys.

Feel free to forward this email to anyone you think might benefit from it and encourage them to subscribe below! I really appreciate you.

I hope your new year is going well and filled with spiritual blessing,

Amanda Joy Smith

Composer and Author | Songs from the Valley

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